The Angel Connection

The following helpful tips are from Jane Nelsen and Lynn Mott in their book Positive Discipline for Teenagers, 2nd Edition (Prima Publishing, Roseville, CA, 2000.) 

•  No matter how often teenagers say they want to be left alone, in reality they need and want some guidance.  They still need a copilot.  Even though they act as if they would like to throw you out of the plane, they feel abandoned if you go.  (Page 61). 
• Teenagers often are afraid; their lack of confidence leads them to look for a crutch.  Parents can provide that  crutch if  they don't allow their teens to experience the consequences of their choices and behaviors. (page 83) .
• By rearranging the letters in the word listen, you can find a primary key to good listening:  silent.  Be silent when listening, because you can't talk and listen at the same time.(page 139).
• When parents ask, "Why won't my child listen to me,?" we ask, "Do you model for your child what listening is all about?  In other words, do you listen first?"  (page 138). 
• Follow-through is a surefire method (perhaps the only method) that really works at helping teens to keep their agreements. (page 118).

"The job of parents is not to make your children happy.  The parents' job is to provide a safe, secure, and loving environment for their children to grow and flourish.   The other aspect of the parents' job is to  teach your children the difference between "right" and "wrong."   By doing these two things, your children will be happy."    Annonymous.